


A Piece Of His Mind

by Ezzy_Pie



Series: Cullen Rutherford & Solona Amell  - Stories of the Dragon Age, Blight and Beyond [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Post Crestwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 08:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4053928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ezzy_Pie/pseuds/Ezzy_Pie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen decides to give a certain elven mage a piece of his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Piece Of His Mind

Cullen’s head hurt. A dull ache throbbing behind his eyes as he leaned heavily on the war table, squinting at the maps. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he exhaled harshly, praying that a rift might open up and swallow him if only to alleviate his pain. Maker, he should have left the tavern after losing all his money to Josephine at Wicked Grace. But no, he had allowed himself to be coerced in making merry with Varric, Blackwall and Iron Bull. 

Merry indeed, there was nothing merry about the god awful hangover he was nursing. 

Cullen gave up trying to work, and decided it was best to head over to the infirmary to requisition a potion, tonic, anything that would stop his skull trying to split itself open. He strode through Josephine’s office, giving her a polite nod as she stifled a small grin at his ghostly pallor. He passed through the Great Hall, trying to block out the mindless drivel of nattering nobles, their voices buzzing around his brain like locusts. 

There was a thunderous crash and the giant doors flung open, setting the nobles a twitter. Valindra Lavellen came storming through. Lightening licked at her fingertips, magic crackled dangerously around her, silver-white hair wild with static charge, the anchor flaring brightly in her palm. In that moment she looked every inch the Dalish savage as she flung the rotunda door open with a flick of her wrist, slamming it shut behind her. 

Cullen threw a sidelong glance at Varric who had halted in his correspondence, the dwarf shrugged his shoulders. He had seen the apostate slink back in several hours ago, looking grimmer than ever, if that were even possible. Cullen had thought it nothing more than a lover’s quarrel, had been silently pleased at the thought, though evidently that was not the case.

He heard the crash and clatter of objects, no doubt Solas’s precious books. The shrill hysteria of her voice was heard clearly through the rotunda door. Every servant, noble and passer by heard her tirade.

“I gave you everything that I am, and you do this! You have taken everything from me! Dread Wolf take your apologies Solas, I don’t want them!” 

The door was flung open, the violent energies somewhat dampened, she glanced at Varric and himself standing awkwardly by Varric’s chair. Cullen looked away quickly, but not before noticing her tear stained face was bare of the winding branches of her vallaslin. 

She swiped angrily at her tears before pushing her way through the crowd that had witnessed her abject humiliation. 

“Well, shit.” Varric swore as he took off after the Inquisitor.

Cullen’s fists balled at his side, his hangover forgotten. Bile burned his throat. What had the apostate done to her! He would never have hurt her so. Before he knew it, Cullen was stalking toward the rotunda, a thunderous scowl darkening his brow. The mage was going to get a piece of his mind for mistreating her such, she deserved better.

He barreled through the door, anger fuelling him, the intended tongue lashing dying in his throat as he stepped into the room. Cullen didn’t know what he expected to find. Somehow he had envisioned Solas with that smug, self-satisfied grin adorning his face. He was unprepared for the reality.

Solas sat at his desk, head in his hands, the man was visibly shaking. Cullen glanced about, taking in the debris that was Solas’s office. Books and papers were scattered haphazardly about the circular room, paint pails had been knocked over, the colors pooling together on the rotunda floor, and Cullen was sure he saw one of the shard crystal shattered and splintered in the far hallway.

“Can I help you, Commander?” Solas’s voice was barely audible, cracked with raw emotion. Cullen turned to face him, the man looked terrible. He was pale and drawn, dark circles ringed his eyes, the teasing glimmer gone. He looked utterly defeated, like the weight of the world sat on his shoulders, and nothing would ever be right again.

Cullen knew that look. Had worn that look after The Circle, after Solona. The hollow, pained look of a man who had lost everything and in that moment he felt pity for Solas. 

“What happened?” Cullen found himself asking. Solas’s brow darkened, whether in anger or confusion Cullen didn’t know, but Maker the man could frown. 

“We are hardly close, Commander.” Cullen couldn’t argue with that, he found Solas odd, and the elf wasn’t exactly approachable.

“No, that we are not. But I imagine by now the Inquisitor is surrounded by her inner circle, Iron Bull is probably offering to pummel you into the ground as we speak. Do you think any of them will console you?” Cullen’s words came out sharper than intended, but he pressed on. “I may be able to offer some insight, believe what you will, but I have been where you are Solas.” 

Solas raised a brow, a ghost of a smile touching his lips. “I doubt that very much Commander, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Solas exhaled sharply, running his hand twitchily over his shaved scalp. Cullen could almost see the cogs churning in the apostates mind. The elf never said anything that was not carefully calculated and thought out. Even in matters of the heart it would seem.

“Simply put, I let her go.”

“But her face?”

“Is none of your business.” Solas replied sharply, a storm threatening behind blue-grey eyes should Cullen pursue that particular line of questioning.

“I was selfish, I should never have encouraged her. I thought…” Solas shook his head, his face cracking. His usual stoicism, the façade he presented to the world, had shattered like glass into a million pieces, his heartache now etched into every line on his face.

“Do you love her?” Cullen had no idea why he asked the question, except that some part of him needed the answer, needed to know that Solas was not the cold, grim man he appeared. Valindra must have seen something in him, though none of her circle could see what exactly. Nobody understood it, he certainly hadn’t.

“Was that a serious question?” Solas laughed, a harsh, brittle sound. “How could I not? She… changed everything.” 

“She is a remarkable woman Solas.” The mage’s eyes narrowed, something dark flickered across his features then vanished. Cullen flinched slightly, shifting uneasily under the scrutiny Solas’s intense gaze. As if remembering something, Solas looked away, the frown still marring his brow.

“Better she be angry at me now and move on, perhaps someday she can look back fondly at our time together. But if she knew what I…I don’t want to taint the memory more than I already have. She deserve so much better than I.” Solas braced his palms against his desk, standing and stepping from behind his cluttered desk. 

“Forgive me, Commander, but I should attend to this.” He made a sweeping motion, gesturing to the room at large. Cullen didn’t press him, Solas had clearly said all he was going to.

“Or course,” Cullen nodded and turning on his heel made to leave the room, the dull ache in his head was back.

“Commander.” Solas’s voice was soft, laced with uncharacteristic uncertainty. 

“Yes.”

“Look after her.” Cullen raised his brow, puzzled.

“And what about you?” 

“I will endure.”

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of see alot of fics where the entire inner circle get their hate on for Solas after the breakup. I thought it might be nice to see someone check up on him, even if that wasn't Cullen's original intent.  
> Also, i like to think that even Solas might be prone to letting his guard down in the wake of a rough breakup, even if it is unintentional. Not even the Dread Wolf could be that cold after tearing out his own heart. :(


End file.
